How To Plan A Destination Bachelorette Party: Tips For The Clueless MOH

The bachelorette party is one of the most fun pre-wedding events. A destination party can be an excellent way to celebrate the bride, but does require quite a bit of planning.

Wondering how to plan a destination bachelorette party and clueless where to start?

I’ve been to more bachelorette parties than I can count, below I break down everything you need to in order to ensure a flawless girls weekend before the big day.

How To Plan A Destination Bachelorette Party

Who Plans The Bachelorette Party?

The Maid of Honor will normally be in charge of coordinating, booking, and handling bachelorette party details for the bride.

However, the bride will typically select major details, such as the guest list and a preferred destination.

Who Attends The Bachelorette Party?

On the list of attendees is usually the wedding party, close friends, and family members. Sometimes the bride’s mom attends.

For every bachelorette party I’ve attended, the bride chooses the guest list.

During A Bachelorette Party, Who Pays For What?

Typically, all expenses are split between the MOH and bachelorette party guests.

As the MOH and Bachelorette Party Planner, you will be paying most out of pocket, then collecting money from party attendees.

Note: This often excludes flights, everyone (usually) books theirs separately, including the bride. 

Does The Bride Pay For A Destination Bachelorette Party?

The bride will typically purchase her own flight and related travel expenses, but all other expenses will be split among bachelorette party attendees.

How to Collect Money For The Bachelorette Party

The MOH will be responsible for booking everything and therefore will pay in advance.

As soon as you book something large, such as the hotel or Airbnb, let the girls know how much each owes you.

As smaller expenses add up, total them and request payment at a later time. Perhaps you bought shirts, decorations, alcohol for the hotel, or booked an excursion. Instead of requesting multiple payments from each attendee, total and request funds in the final weeks leading up to the trip. 

I’ll get more into the money side of things later in the article.

Planning Essentials You Need To Know First

These are key details you need to know before bachelorette party planning can go anywhere:

• Destination
• Guest List
• Budget 

These three things will largely affect the planning process.

For some ideas, check out The Most Iconic Bachelorette Party Destinations In The US.

How Far In Advance Should You Plan A Destination Bachelorette Party?

A large guest list or popular destination means the bachelorette weekend needs to be planned months in advance.

Say the bride wants a large bachelorette party on the beach in San Diego, this needs to be booked at least six months in advance.

Whereas a small bachelorette party at a friend’s lake house, for example, can be coordinated 2 – 3 months in advance, etc. 

Be Clear On Budget Before Planning The Bachelorette Party

The budget must, must, must be discussed in advance.

The bride should have an idea of what her friends and family are willing to pay. This should go without saying, but choose a destination that matches your budget. 

Is your bride totally clueless or uncomfortable discussing budget? You may have to send out a text to the guests with some party research. 

These are some examples of the type of planning required to sort out budget, and then how to approach the group with the information you’ve gathered:

“Hey ladies, I looked into the cost of an All Inclusive in Cancun, it’s $500/ girl, per night, this covers all food and drink over the weekend. Plus you’ll need to book flights, and we’ll all split the cost of the brides expenses (excluding her flight). So this comes out to $1,250 per girl for the resort alone, plus flight and any additional expenses.” 

“Hi! An Airbnb big enough for the group of us costs $2,220 for the weekend. Most meals can be made at the house and I can run to Costco for food, I’m guessing food and booze for the group will be about $400. So for the 8 of us (the bride won’t be paying) that comes out to about $327.50 / person. Amanda and Kyle each have SUV’s and agreed to drive, so we’ll pitch in for gas money as well. Let me know what everyone thinks!” 

“Hey ladies! For our group of 6 we’ll need 2 hotel rooms. The rate per night is $145, two rooms at two nights each is $580 total. We don’t want the bride paying so that would be $116 for each of us 5 girls. I did look into flights and it’s about $380 round trip – we’d need to book that ASAP. Keep in mind we’ll be dining out for every meal and Sarah wants to go out the the bars both nights! Let me know what everyone’s comfortable with!” 

How Many Days Should A Bachelorette Party Be?

Destination bachelorette parties are typically 2 – 3 days. Ideally, you don’t want to ask the bride squad to take too much time away from work and other obligations.

The majority of bachelorette parties I’ve attended require taking zero time off work, or at the most, taking a Friday off.

Can You Book A Bachelorette Party Over A Holiday Weekend?

Yes, a long weekend will allow more time for the trip.

However, keep in mind, some destinations will be more expensive over holiday weekends. Additionally, just about any destination will see large crowds over these long weekends.

You’ll have to decide whether or not these drawbacks are worth contending with.

How To Choose The Date?

Do not book a destination bachelorette party too close to the wedding date, that’s hard on the bridesmaids and especially difficult on the bride.

The date should be at least one month prior to the wedding date. 

Note: I have attended one bachelorette party that was only a few days before the wedding. The bachelorette party was two full days and one night in New York City. The wedding was then 1.5 hours away in the Hamptons, 3 days later. This was a smaller bachelorette party, it’s what the bride wanted, and the setup made sense for their wedding. I say this as a reminder that there’s no one set of rules you must follow, do what makes sense for your needs.

Finalize A Date That Works For Everyone

Coordinating the date for a large group of people can be tricky.

Discuss a few options with the bride and send out a group text to the desired guest list with options laid out. 

Usually a specific weekend will work for most. If you’re coordinating a larger group, a few may not be able to attend, that’s the reality sometimes. Make sure the bride is okay with the few who cannot attend and move on to booking lodging ASAP.

Do You Need To Send Out Invitations?

In my experience, most bachelorette party attendees are involved in choosing the date, which makes an invitation unnecessary.

However, it’s not completely uncommon to receive an e-vite or other informal invitation. This will often include lodging and travel information, and other important details.

Book Accommodations

Lodging needs to be booked well in advance. Do not procrastinate here!

Getting an entire group to agree on a location and date within everyone’s schedule is hard work. Do not ruin that by being lazy, then finding there’s no lodging available for a group your size. 

Upon finding the hotel or rental you think will work best, send a text out to the guests confirming the cost per person is okay. If so, book right away.

YAY! Phew!! You’ve now done the most important thing, give yourself a pat on the back, open that bottle of wine or box of chocolates, and celebrate!

Booking Entertainment, Reservations, & Buying Decor

Last up is coordinating the entertainment, decorations, and other small details.

Again, the MOH will normally handle this, but it’s not uncommon to delegate some tasks here.

Bachelorette Party Excursions & Entertainment

Whether or not your destination bachelorette party will have an excursion, or some sort of entertainment, is up to the bride.

A boat day, hike, pedal bar tour, or spa day are all fun ways to celebrate the bride. Be sure to book necessary arrangements in advance. Many companies are unable to accommodate large groups last minute.

Ideally, you’ll have a balanced combination of free and paid entertainment.

For example, in Miami we joined a paid sailing cruise one day, followed by a beach day, which was free.

In Napa, we had a paid wine tasting day, then a pool day at the Airbnb for free, etc.

Dining Out & Nightlife

Dining is another outing that should be reserved in advance.

If traveling with a large group, do your best to only dine at restaurants which accept reservations. If you’re set on a restaurant that doesn’t accept reservations, have a backup plan in case the wait time is ludicrous. Nobody likes a hangry bride!

Whether or not nightlife needs to be planned in advance depends on where you visit. Locations like Las Vegas or Miami may require bottle service for popular clubs – most locations won’t require such planning though.

Have an idea of where the bride would like to go, as well as plan on how to get to and from the bars responsibly.

Bachelorette Party Decorations & Miscellaneous Items

Most brides will have some sort of decor/ theme for the big party. This is something the MOH can delegate to a bridesmaid or handle herself.

Keep in mind, setting up decor can be time consuming, it’s a great idea to have bridesmaids help out.

Party favors, matching t-shirts, party games, or hangover kits are also common at bachelorette parties. Have these items organized in advance so you’re not wasting time with set up during the vacation.

If you’re looking for ideas, be sure to check out these 25 Totally Cheap Bachelorette Party Must Haves (from Amazon!).

Tips For Collecting Money For The Bachelorette Party

Discuss Money In Advance 

Money issues can quickly ruin a vacation and even relationships. Be clear about money in advance to avoid problems. This can be extremely easy or slightly annoying, depending on who you’re traveling with.

In my experience, being clear and open about money keeps problems at bay. Use your best judgement and navigate the situation how you find appropriate for your group of friends. 

Below is an example text I’d send if I trusted the group, but didn’t know a few people or knew some in the group were a bit flakey in the finance department:

“Hey Ladies! As discussed all expenses will be split evenly among everyone aside from the bride. I plan to book the Airbnb tomorrow, at that time I’ll collect the total cost from everyone. Please Venmo me at your earliest convenience. The week before we leave I will collect for the previously discussed boat rental, matching bathing suits, decorations, groceries, and alcohol. In addition to the groceries and alcohol being delivered to the house, Sarah wants to go out to eat one night. We’ll split that evenly, I will pay and everyone can Venmo me before our flight home on Sunday. Let me know if you have any questions!” 

This is open communication, it allows people to budget, and you’ve made your expectations clear. Again, this text may look different depending on your friend group. It’s a good idea to do what feels right for you.

Having Trouble Collecting Payment From Someone?

You may have to follow up for payment with one or two people. They probably just forgot, don’t make it a big deal, just send them a friendly reminder and move on.

Now, what if someone truly isn’t paying?

If you’ve requested money, sent them multiple friendly reminders, and if somebody still hasn’t paid, you may need to send a kind, but firm, text requesting that they pay before the trip. 

Do not get the bride involved in money issues unless you absolutely have to.

You do not want to involve the bride with this potentially-sensitive subject. However, it’s not your responsibility to pay for her friend’s vacation.

If you absolutely cannot collect payment from someone, and have been polite and tried everything above, it’s time to let the bride deal with it. 

Alright, that’s it! You should be all ready to go! The planning can be quite a bit of work, but will all be worth it in the end.

The bride will always remember the good time she had with her best friends on this special bachelorette trip.

As the planner, be sure to kick back, relax, and enjoy the bachelorette party weekend as well!

What Is A Destination Bachelorette Party?

A bachelorette party is a celebration where the bride and her besties can let loose and celebrate her upcoming wedding day. The celebration typically involves alcohol, relaxing, games, and quality time with the girls.

A destination bachelorette party is all of the above in the form of a weekend-long event occurring outside of the bride’s hometown.

Best Bachelorette Party Destinations

A destination bachelorette party can be literally anywhere, but these are a few of the most popular choices in the United States:

• Nashville
• New York City
• Scottsdale
• Napa Valley
• New Orleans
• Las Vegas
• Charleston

It’s also very common to host destination bachelorettes near your hometown. For example, a quick getaway to a lake house, small mountain cabin, or low-key beach town.

I hope you’ve found this helpful in planning your upcoming destination bachelorette party, and have an amazing time!

Any questions? Please leave a comment below or reach out on social media.

Looking for more ideas? Below are additional bachelorette guides or head on over to The Knot!